Kangaroo times two!

September 7, 2011 will go down as one of the most memorable and heart wrenching days of my life. The day I was able to hold my two boys for the first time in our lives. Carter was first to be held by his father who was eager to hear the news that mom and dad would both be able to hold him the same day. Of course mom held him first that day but the smile that was beginning inside of me as i saw Lauren hold him only grew and grew until I was glowing the first time his precious little body lay on my chest feeling each heart beat and feeling his arms and legs wiggle as he cuddle up on my chest. That feeling is a feeling i will never forget. As i held my son I could only imagine the boy he would grow up to be, would he be anything like me? would we share the same interests? my mind wandered as i ran through memories of my childhood with my dad and all the fun stuff we did (and do) together. Carter lay there just relaxed as he could be until it was his care time and i had to give him back so he could get a diaper change, medicine and food. That half an hour i felt like a dad, a real dad, with a little boy who just wanted and needed to be held.

Daddy holding Carter for the first time

Taking it all in and enjoying every minute.

Easton had just finished his care time when Amy his nurse asked if i was ready to hold him, REALLY??? was my response. I had no idea that he was in any shape or that i could hold him yet. What a treat to be able to hold my little man, the warrior and fighter that he is. My heart swelled with pride as my eyes started to water, this was truly one of my happiest days. Just typing this reminds me of the joy i had as I held little Easton cuddled in my arms, as he looked into my eyes smiling, (most likely because he was passing gas) but I like to think it was because he knew my touch, my smell, and my voice. for an hour and a half i talked to my beautiful boy, telling him of the love his parents have for him, how proud we are of him and how i could not wait to bring him home. The hardest part was letting go of my two boys putting them back into their beds and going home empty handed. The pure love that one can have for his children was felt that day and it is a day i will never forget. I only hope that these boys come to know and understand that they will always have a mother and father here to love them and help them.

Oh the joys of being a father

I think the nurses were almost as excited that daddy was holding Easton.

So small yet so much love.

A special Thank you to Dr. Sarah Buxton, Rosie, Amy, and Michelle for helping me hold my boys and make this experience such a special one.